Aftermath by Elizabeth G. Hines

Author:Elizabeth G. Hines
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: She Writes Press

This article was originally published by Rewire News Group (rewirenewsgroup.com). It has been updated to reflect the Supreme Court’s ruling on Dobbs.

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DR. ROBYN POWELL is an associate professor at the University of Oklahoma College of Law. Dr. Powell’s scholarship focuses on reproductive justice, disability law, family law, and public health law.

COLLATERAL DAMAGE

ANN CRAIG

I never thought I would make the choice to have an abortion. In college, like many young women, I had a period that was so late, I thought I might be pregnant. Though the tests kept coming back negative, I had myself convinced that I was pregnant anyway. I was in no position to raise a child, but I was lucky enough to have a family that would support my decision to carry a child and give it up for adoption, if that is what I chose. So that is what I decided I would do while I waited for that positive test to show up: put the child up for adoption.

As fate would have it, I did not have to make any such choice that time around. The day I actually had to make the choice to end a pregnancy came much later in my life. I was thirty-six years old, married, and desperate to be a mother. I wanted that baby so much it hurt. I named her Jane, and I loved her. I still love her. Losing her was one of the most horrific experiences of my life, yet never once have I doubted that making the decision to terminate my pregnancy was the right decision for me and for my future family. Aborting Jane protected my life and the lives of my future children.

Trying to get pregnant over the age of thirty-five has its challenges. Advanced maternal age—the official diagnosis for pregnant individuals who will be thirty-five or older at delivery—is no joke. The chances of pregnancy decline, and the rates of health issues for both the fetus and the pregnant person increase. But I was healthy, in shape, married, happy. I knew the risks, but I was ready to bring a baby into the world. And I was lucky. My husband was on the faculty at a prestigious medical school. We had amazing health insurance, and it would cover virtually everything we might need.

After six months of trying, we were referred to a fertility specialist. At my age, he said, there was only a two-in-ten chance of a fertilized egg making it to a healthy delivery. So, this was going to be a battle—but I had faced uphill battles before. I was a Division I athlete in college who had not a shred of the talent needed to reach those athletic heights and yet had gotten there by never giving up, working every possible angle, studying my sport, and pouring countless hours into my training and preparation. Now that I knew the stakes, I knew I could do this. So, I relaxed into an old, familiar mindset. This was a game I could win.

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